Sunday, January 07, 2007

No, You're Thinking of Colombia

So I ended up spending about half of my break so far in Charlottesville and the other half in Washington, D.C. Here's how the home of The University stacks up against The District in some key categories.

Charlottesville: In its winter break, post-circus state, this side of town is mostly deserted, meaning I can park wherever I want, even in the D-2 or the phase III section of Ivy right near school. If only I had a reason to.
The District of Columbia: Ticket x 2. The first redeemed itself by making me laugh with "Assaults on parking enforcement personnel are fully prosecuted." The same message on the second just slowed me down.
Winner: Charlottesville, where the first ticket is free, meters are meant to be ignored, and every store has its own lot.

C'ville: Induces stress, delays of thirty to forty minutes.
D.C.: Induces homicidal tendencies, delays of thirty to life.
Winner: C'ville, because you'll never make it anywhere on time if you keep stopping to kill somebody.

Public Transportation
C'ville: Free buses all over campus and halfway around town. Incredibly cheap buses and cabs that go everywhere else.
D.C.: Fairly pricey metro that goes almost exactly where you don't want to go; somewhat cheaper but still pricey buses for the rest.
Winner: D.C. I've never used the Charlottesville buses (see Parking, supra), but I have been cut off by them.

C'ville: Amazing.
D.C.: They're 100 miles apart.
Winner: Tie. Seriously, it's a difference of 0.87ยบ latitude.

National Rankings
C'ville: recent rankings include #8 best place for jobseekers, #5 "Digital City", and #1 best place to live in the United States.
D.C.: #3 most dangerous big city in America
Winner: D.C. Sometimes you have to live a little.

Obsession with Neoclassical Architecture, as Measured by Total Number of Columns
C'ville: More plentiful than the stars in the sky.
D.C.: More numerous than the grains of sand on all the beaches in the world.
Winner: Somebody please build something else.

1 comment:

Adam said...

I DO hate when I have to stop to kill someone. It always makes me miss the bus.