You're Just Gonna Hate It

Sarah seems to think I could be a source of "intelligent commentary" on a topic like this news story, which is about a lawyer who jumped from an office on the 69th floor of the Empire State Building and died upon hitting a 30th floor platform, while his newly-severed leg fell to the street below.
I'm flattered, but a little confused, as I tend to be more a source of inappropriate jokes and bad puns.

That said, I couldn't pick just one, so choose your favorite!

• Poor guy just couldn't get a leg up on the competition.
  
• He only fell 39 stories, but he billed the full hour.
• Wow. I mean, I've heard depositions are boring, but geez.
• He wasn't trying to kill himself; he was just too busy to wait for the elevator.
• He's lucky—plenty of lawyers go their whole lives and never make an impact on anything.
• "Gray socks with brown shoes? Fashion suicide!"
• He fought the law, and the law threw him off the Empire State Building.