A small sample of statements made by Professor Crim during class in the presence of visiting undergrads and their parents:
- "Ah, see I didn't know that's how you made methamphetamines. I just know when I'm experiencing really good methamphetamines."
- "You know wives never listen to their husbands."
- "When I got back from Amsterdam, if I had anything left over from my trip, I wouldn't have made it through Dulles."
- "So, let's say they catch the Charlottesville serial rapist. Not the local police, they're never going to catch that guy."*
*Note to prospective students: To the best of my knowledge, said rapist has not appeared since 2003, which is a long time in rapist-years. He has probably moved on. Charlottesville is still very safe. Please do not make the male-to-female ratio worse than it already is.