Monday, April 09, 2007

Things I Learned This Week

  • From a series of last-name-announcing cold-calls, I learned the extent to which one of my classes this semester is a veritable UVa Law Bloggers' Summit.
  • Between Thursday and Saturday, I learned that random alumni lawyers take first-year oral arguments far more seriously than judges from the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals take the Lile Moot Court finals.
  • Desegregation: good for schools, good for country clubs, bad for laundry.
  • Thanks to my poor reading comprehension skills, I learned that it is possible—although not advised—to put on a suit, shave, drive to school, write an outline, and otherwise prepare for oral arguments in forty-four minutes.
  • From minute forty-six to minute forty-nine, I learned that following the above plan will get you screwed when the judges decide not to interrupt and instead let you recite all of the facts. (I wish I were joking on these last two.)
  • Finally, in an ironic twist worthy of O. Henry, I learned that dental floss is the most difficult item in the world to get unstuck from between teeth.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Communication Skills

Dear 2L Guy Who Has Comments Turned Off But Links To Me And Will Probably Read This,

If you hate to sound like a dick, don't.

Love,
Another blogger who can't keep his opinions to himself.

Update 4/12/07: Sorry, that may have been a bit uncalled for. I just hate to see serious use of the word "prestigious."

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Separated At Birth

I can't be the first person to notice this:

Friday, March 23, 2007

Return

Well it's been a while. Apparently, after spring break we had some sort of brief due. Then the Libel Show was all "Fletcher, come to rehearsals," "Fletcher, learn your lines," "Fletcher, come to the show," "Fletcher, for God's sakes put some pants on." But that's mostly over, so here I am again.

I don't have a lot to say just now, but if you missed the Law Weekly's latest excuse/apology, you should definitely check it out. Personally, I didn't pick up on any racial undertones when I saw the article last week. Then again, I've been jaded to that sort of thing ever since the time my undergrad dining hall served fried chicken and collard greens to celebrate Black History Month.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Gag Order

Under penalty of the Honor Code, I'm not allowed to discuss this weekend's Journal Tryout. All descriptive parts of speech are banned. Luckily, you are under no such provision. So here's your chance to produce your own story of my weekend:

On Friday, I left __(subject)__ class and went as __(adverb)__ as I could over to the Student __(pl. noun)__ Office, where they were handing out __(adjective)__ Journal Tryout packets. I __(past tense transitive verb)__ mine, and briefly considered __(present participle transitive verb)__ it into the __(noun)__. I eventually decided against it and bought a __(noun)__ instead, before taking it all home with me. After doing the editing section __(number)__ times, I wanted to either __(verb)__ or __(verb)__. I settled on the former, which was--to my surprise--actually quite __(adjective)__. Finally, I spent __(number)__ __(units of time)__ on the writing portion, which __(is/is not)__ complete. Tomorrow I plan to __(transitive verb)__ the __(adjective)__ __(noun)__ __(preposition)__ __(article)__ __(adjective)__ __(noun)__ until __(pronoun)__ __(present tense reflexive verb)__.
Okay. That should keep me safe. Hope you have the __(superlative)__ break possible!

Monday, February 26, 2007

Kids Just Eight Bucks!

Number of months the John Paul Jones Arena has been open: 6
Number of times the 30-second radio ad for Monster Jam tells us they're coming to Charlottesville "FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!!!": 4

Estimated number of weeks before regular posting of longer items resumes: 2

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Do You Have These in a Bigger Size?

On the bottom of p. 96 in the Bluebook, the example given for citation to an amicus brief is as follows:

Brief for Ringling Bros.-Barnum & Bailey Combined Shows, Inc. et al. as Amici Curiae supporting Respondents, Moseley v. V Secret Catalogue, Inc., 537 U.S. 418 (2003) (No. 01-01015).
I could look it up, but it's better in my head.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Also Remember to Empty the Lint Trap

Pairs of panties in my room this afternoon:0
Pairs of panties in my laundry when I put it into the machine:0
Pairs of panties in my laundry when I took it out of the machine:0
Pairs of panties in my laundry when I put it into the dryer:0
Pairs of panties in my laundry when I took it out of the dryer:3


Predicted increase in site traffic once Google indexes this post: 15%

Sunday, February 11, 2007

I Don't Get the Point of Student Government

A response to Student Council SBA President Adam Wolk:

Some governments are useful, such as the American government, which collects taxes and keeps the Canadians from invading. In the law school arena, the administration is kind of like a government, in that it collects tuition and keeps Darden students from eating in our cafeteria (by cleverly engineering it so that our cafeteria isn't as good as theirs). The best part is that you can anonymously harass the administration, by asking them to make ridiculous announcements like "someone left their keys in the door of their car," "someone left their trunk open and I wrote down the license plate but didn't bother to close it for them," and "someone rear-ended me in the parking lot and drove away; I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding and not the unfortunate result of spending this month's insurance money on Feb Club costumes instead."

But what I don't get are the governments run by students. From what I understand, they talk about the law school and anything "important" that occurs to them. From the news I have seen, what they do isn't all that interesting. Unless you ran for office in a desperate attempt to pad your resume, and even if you did, you just don't want to hear about what color tablecloths we should have at Barrister's. Of course, if you're reading this, you're probably Adam Wolk doing your daily self-Google the type of person who cares about the SBA, so please don't take offense to this. I don't wish to judge your choice of governing bodies, since I certainly wouldn't want you judging mine. I guess I just don't get it.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Getting Involved

Tryout processes reviewed:

Summer Job Interviews
Pros: Once you've answered the same questions eleven or so times, you eventually forget that your answers are complete nonsense and start to feel pretty good about yourself.
Cons: No one wants to hire you.

Unified Journal Tryout
Pros: No matter how many journals you're interested in working for, you only have to waste one weekend of your life.
Cons: Best case scenario: now you're on a journal. See below and remember that Pass/Fail : 1Ls :: Tenure : Law Professors.

Dillard Fellow Tryout
Pros: Can be completed over any three-day period this month, so you can save your weekend and blow off class instead.
Cons: Congratulations, you've earned the opportunity to read the papers of 35 1Ls who are fully aware that in the Pass/Fail world of Legal Research & Writing, a D is as good as an A.

Libel Show Auditions
Pros: Surprisingly low standards.
Cons: If I wanted to make an ass of myself while a roomful of people ignored me in favor of staring at their laptop screens, I would have been a professor.